AND IN TIME

TODAY MY DEAR FRIEND DEE CAME IN TO GET HER HAIR DONE, AND IN TWO WORDS CHANGED MY LIFE'S CURRENT PATH..... I HAVE BEEN IN A FUNK FOR AROUND 7  MONTHS. I HADN'T FELT LIKE GOD HAS BEEN 'USING' ME OR MY LIFE. JUST BEEN FEELING STAGNANT AND WORTHLESS TO A CALLING.  LIKE IVE BEEN WALKING THROUGH LIFE THE LAST FEW MONTHS WITH NO PURPOSE NO DIRECTION. ANY GOD LOVING, EVANGELISTIC, ADHD, CHRISTIAN WOMAN CAN TELL YOU IT IS JUST MISERABLE AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE AT A STAND STILL. YOU CONSTANTLY ASK YOURSELF...
'WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"
"WHERE HAVE I MISSED THE PATH GOD?"
"WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WHEN TIME IS SO PRECIOUS IN THESE LAST DAYS?"
"WHEN. GOD. WHEN ???"
"WHEN. GOD. WHEN ???"
EVER SINCE MY LIFE CHANGED FOR GOD 10 YEARS AGO I HAVE FELT A CALLING TO WRITE AND SPEAK. I CANT TELL YOU WHY.. JUST A KNOWING IF YOU WILL. BUT DAYS TURNED INTO MONTHS AND MONTHS TO YEARS AND I FOUND MYSELF DISCOURAGED AND FRANKY SECOND GUESSING WHAT I BELIEVED MY CALLING WAS. I DECIDED THAT I WAS "JUST DREAMING" AND THAT I NEEDED TO BE OKAY WITH WHATEVER GOD CALLED ME TO DO. EVEN IF THAT MEANT CLEANING THE BATHROOMS AT CHURCH! I DECIDED I WOULD DO WHATEVER HE SAID WITH PASSION AND CONVICTION.

 "I CAN CLEAN BATHROOMS WITH PASSION IF YOU WANT ME TO FATHER!!" 

THEN DEE CAME IN AND SAID GOD MENTIONED ME TO HER THAT VERY MORNING IN HER QUIET TIME, HE ONLY SPOKE 2 PROMISING WORDS.... AUTHOR/SPEAKER. 

HAVE MY EARS JUST DECEIVED ME?? IT SHOCKED ME,  I HAD GIVEN UP ON THAT. WITHIN A MATTER OF SECONDS MY EYES WHERE FULL OF TEARS, HE HASN'T GIVEN UP ON ME! JUST WHEN I GAVE UP ON THAT SILLY DREAM.

GOD CONTINUES TO AMAZE WITH HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS! YESTERDAY I WAS DOWN AND OUT AND TODAY I AM WRITING!! WOW. NEVER GIVE UP OR LOSE FAITH WHEN GOD'S TIMING ISN'T IN YOUR TIMELINE.

YOU KNOW, IN YOUR CHRISTAN WALK YOU HAVE UPS AND DOWNS, GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS.. YOU HAVE DAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD AND FEELING THE PRESENCE OF GOD, HEARING HIS VOICE, SINGING HIS PRAISES AND HELPING EVERYTHING THAT HAS PULSE IN A 1OO MILE RADIUS. AND NOT JUST HELPING THEM BUT DOING IT WITH AN OVERFLOWING CHEERFUL HEART!! AND THEN THERE ARE DAYS WHEN WE FEEL ALONE AND EMPTY, DOWN AND OUT AND DONT FEEL LIKE TALKING AT ALL, MUCH LESS WHISTLING DIXIE!! BUT THATS OKAY..

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.. AND ITS OK.. WE ARE HUMAN. IF WE DIDN'T HAVE THE VALLEY EXPERIENCES WE WOULDN'T APPRECIATE THE MOUNTAIN TOP HIGHS!!

 IVE LEARNED GOD USES US IN SEASONS TO HELP AND AID OTHERS AND THEN HE NEEDS TIME TO WORK ON US. TO DEAL WITH US ON OUR OWN ISSUES, OUR FLESH. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP WHEN YOU FEEL LOW, GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.. THE BIBLE SAYS IN  HEBREW 13:5 THAT GOD WILL NEVER FORSAKE US OR LEAVE US. IT DID SAY NEVER. JUST MAKING SURE YOU GOT THAT! NEVER! THANK YOU FATHER!! YOU WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE ME. 

 MAYBE GOD DOESN'T WORK WITH EVERYONE LIKE THIS, BUT, IVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY EXTREME, BLACK OR WHITE, LOUD MOUTH, BULL IN A CHINA CLOSET, OUTSPOKEN, STUBBORN KINDA GAL.. GOD HAS HAD TO BASICALLY DISCONNECT ME FROM THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR MONTHS TO GET SOMETHING ACROSS TO ME. MY PRAYER IS TO  CONTINUE TO GROW AND MATURE AND GET TO A PLACE WHERE GOD SAYS IT ONCE (EVEN AT A LOW VOICE) AND I HOP TOO.   BUT OUR CHRISTIAN WALK IS A WALK, NOT A RUN. WE GROW AND LEARN AND CHANGE DAILY.

 JUST LIKE WHEN YOU PLANT A SEED.. YOU DON'T WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY AND SEE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, YOU WATER IT, FEED IT AND IN TIME.. IT GROWS. YOU'LL START TO SEE A BLOOM AND THEN AWHILE AFTER THAT, IT WILL APPEAR.. THE FLOWER. WHEN GOD FIRST FILLS US WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT WE AREN'T CHANGED IMMEDIATELY. IT TAKES TIME AND EFFORT, WORK ON OUR PART. DONT GET TOO RUSHED, SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY YOUR EVERYDAY WALK WITH GOD. DRINK IT UP AND REST IN HIM.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

HEBREWS 11:1


FATHER I JUST COME TO YOU WITH A FULL HEART TODAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORD, THANK YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. THANK YOU THAT I CAN ALWAYS TRUST WHAT YOU SAY. FORGIVE ME WHEN I LOSE FAITH BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DO THINGS IN THE TIME FRAME I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD. I JUST PRAY TODAY FOR COURAGE TO SPEAK WITH CONVICTION WHEN ITS TIME TO. ALSO FATHER FOR THE HUMILITY TO KEEP MY LIPS SEALED WHEN ITS NOT MY BATTLE TO FIGHT. I AM ASKING YOU FOR A GODLY BALANCE IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE FATHER, PRUNE ME AND SIFT ME, DON'T LEAVE ME AS I AM. ALLOW ME LORD TO BE A SHINING STAR FOR YOU IN THIS EVER DARKENING WORLD.
　AMEN.