Forgiving.. even the Unforgivable!

We have all been hurt at some point in life.
Forgiveness can be a very touchy subject but the bible makes it clear that as Christians we aren't to hold anything against anyone. 

Matthew 6:14 says For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.


Well, that's simple isn't it??
It's simply said, but the furthest from simple to do!

Matthew 6:14 reminds us of God's love and grace for us.. who are we to refuse love and grace to others?  This same scripture softly reminds us that we are not perfect and need our father's forgiveness as well.


Then we have Matthew 7:1-5  “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

That hurts doesn't it!  don't shoot the messenger!
hang in here with me..


Matthew 7:1-5 was a hard one for me for along time. Many times I had to swallow my pride and keep my lips shut and my thoughts pure by choice. I had to pray for people that I saw at that time as enemies out of obedience not because I wanted to. Praying for the people you most love is easy!  But getting on your knees praying for your enemies to prosper and be blessed... well, that's a different story isn't it!?
I've often said that many of those prayers felt like i was swallowing glass.. but I was obedient, and somewhere God really did give me more understanding and love for those who had hurt me.


It's not easy but, it is possible. God doesn't ask us to do anything that we are not perfectly capable of.
Some people will say... " Well, I cant forgive this person, you just don't know what they have done?!!"

I haven't seen anywhere in the word where God says...
"forgive if you feel like it" or "forgive if it wasn't a big deal" or
"forgive only those you think are worthy of forgiveness" 

If you claim to be a bible believing christian you don't get the option of picking and choosing what works for you in the word.

its all or nothing. and it all applies to you, you aren't exempt!


I once heard somewhere  having unforgiveness is drinking the poison you made to give to your enemy!
It is poison to your body. I lived too many years understanding this I'm sad to say. I believe that having unforgivness and bitterness will actually manifest into physical problems. That's a whole other bunny trail that we don't have time for today, but its true. People are on more anxiety, sleeping and anti depressants today than ever before and a large bit of it is because of relationship issues that end in unforgiveness. While you are mad, bitter and miserable your enemy is most likely out there living life NOT thinking about you. 

EVERY PERSON ON THIS PLANET IS A CHILD OF GOD AND HE LOVES THEM. No matter what they have done or how wrong they are. HE LOVES THEM.

I am so thankful for that too because I lived many years a total and complete mess myself and he loved me and was so patient while teaching me his word and his ways.

In closing here is a little something Joyce Meyer said .. I just love her, She is always setting me straight so I'll pass it on when its relevant!!

"When you forgive your not doing God a favor, your not even doing your enemies a favor. You are doing something for you! You are giving yourself freedom!" - Joyce

 don't waste another day of your life on yesterday.
don't let yesterday's hurts ruin this perfectly good today sitting in front of you.

Proverbs 20:22
Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.

Father,   I pray for peace, love and forgiveness to consume us as we walk through this life. Show us Lord how to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Break us down where we are bitter and easily offended. Thank you for every person that has clicked on this page today. I know that they didn't find themselves here by random. Search the most secret places in our hearts today father and help us "clean house" and move forward in Peace.
Amen.



THE CROWN

I OFTEN FIND MYSELF WONDERING WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE THE DAY I FINALLY MEET MY SAVIOR. I THINK ABOUT THE SONG BY MERCY ME, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. I THINK ABOUT MY LIFE, MY DAYS, MY MOMENTS, MY BREATHES. THEY ARE ALL NUMBERED. I ONLY HAVE SO MANY DAYS HERE IN THIS WORLD, AS JAMES 4:14 SO SIMPLY SAYS, "YOU ARE JUST A VAPOR THAT APPEARS FOR AWHILE AND THEN VANISHED IN THE WIND".

A VAPOR IN THE WIND, THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I'VE STRUGGLED WITH MY FLESH AND MY PAST. UP TO THIS POINT IN MY CHRISTIAN WALK THE HARDEST THINGS IVE HAD TO  OVERCOME HAVE  BEEN FORGIVING PEOPLE I FELT WRONGED ME AND GIVING UP ALCOHOL. I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH MY LIVE HAS CHANGED, HOW MUCH GOD HAS PRUNED ME AND SANDED AWAY IN RUFF EDGES.

THE CHRISTIAN WALK ISN'T FOR THE WEAK OR PROUD.

IT'S MUCH EASIER TO FOLLOW WITH THE CROWD, GO WITH THE FLOW. ACT LIKE "THE WORLD". THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT THE WIDE AND NARROW GATES IN MATTHEW 7:13-14 . "ENTER BY THE NARROW GATE. FOR THE GATE IS WIDE AND THE WAY EASY THAT LEADS TO DESTRUCTION, AND THOSE WHO ENTER BY IT ARE MANY. BUT SMALL IS THE GATE AND NARROW THE ROAD THAT LEADS TO LIFE, AND ONLY A FEW FIND IT."

I THINK ABOUT ALL IVE GONE THROUGH TO GET WHERE I AM. THE FRIENDS I'VE LOST, THE TEARS OF PAIN AND FRUSTRATION I'VE CRIED FROM HOLDING ONTO FLESHLY WANTS AND DESIRES. THE REJECTION. LONELINESS AT TIMES. FEELING LIKE I WAS 2 PEOPLE. FIGHTING MY NATURAL WANTS AND INSTINCTS. FIGHTING  TO DO RIGHT IN GOD'S EYE NO MATTER THE COST.  THE BACKSLIDING. THE GUILT WHEN I'M NOT PERFECT. IT WAS EXHAUSTING. AT LEAST IT WAS UNTIL I DECIDED TO PUT BOTH FEET ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE FENCE. AS LONG AS YOUR RIDING THE FENCE WITH YOUR FAITH YOU WILL BE WEARING YOURSELF OUT. THE THINGS WE HOLD ONTO ARE JUST NOT WORTH IT.  HERE IS AN EXAMPLE FOR FUN..

 HERE ARE YOUR CHOICES..

a. MOVE FORWARD IN GOD'S  PERFECT WILL FOR YOUR LIFE 
b. THIS DRINK RIGHT NOW

SEEMS SILLY HUH??? BUT IN THAT MOMENT ITS EASY TO CHOICE TO FEED THE FLESH, RIDE THE FENCE AND "CHANGE TOMORROW".  THE PROBLEM IS TOMORROW BECOMES YEARS LATER. WAKE UP FRIENDS! THE DEVIL IS JUST PLAYING US LIKE FIDDLES WHEN WE PLAY THIS GAME. WE ALWAYS LOSE.


I ACTUALLY REMEMBER AN ANNIVERSARY A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN MY HUSBAND DANE AND I WENT TO A NICE DINNER IN MARBLE FALLS, TX. WHEN THE WAITER CAME OVER TO TAKE OUR DRINK ORDER I PROUDLY ORDERED AN ICE WATER. THE WAITER KNEW IT WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY AND OFFERED A GLASS OF COMPLEMENTARY CHAMPAGNE.
 I QUICKLY SAID "NO THANKS, WATER IS PERFECT, THANK YOU".
(STAYING RIGHT ON TOP OF IT, IN CONTROL)
BUT, THE WAITER JUST WASN'T GIVING UP THAT EASY AND SAID "OH, YOU CAN HAVE ONE, JUST ONE.. CANT YOU?!!" I MADE IT CLEAR I COULDN'T HAVE ONE AND WATER WOULD BE GREAT. HE LEFT QUICKLY TO RETURN WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL, PERFECTLY CHILLED GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? WOW!!  YOU DO YOUR BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM IT AND THE ENEMY WILL SERVE IT RIGHT TO YOUR TABLE FREE OF CHARGE!  SNEAK IT IN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.
 I HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD TELL ME "HANG IN THERE CHILD, THIS IS A TEST." I HANDED THE GLASS ACROSS THE TABLE TO DANE AND ASKED HIM TO GET RID OF IT, I REMEMBER NOT EVEN WANTING TO SMELL IT.

 IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, AND BY THE END OF IT I WAS CRYING. YEP, CRYING OVER A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE!! MY FLESH WANTED THAT CHAMPAGNE!! WHAT I LEARNED THAT NIGHT WAS ALCOHOL HAD A BIGGER HOLD ON ME THAN I HAD REALIZED. IT HAD MORE OVER MY HEAD THAN I WANTED TO ADMIT. SO MANY PEOPLE USE DRINKING TO PACIFY SOMETHING ELSE.. PAIN, THE PAST, ANXIETY... THERE ARE A NUMBER OF THINGS. 

YOU CAN ABUSE ANYTHING. YOU CAN ABUSE SUGAR, FOOD, DRINKING, SHOPPING...  WHATEVER YOU DO THAT HAS CONTROL OVER YOU AND YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER IT IS NOW A PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE. PERIOD. I USE ALCOHOL AS AN EXAMPLE SO OFTEN BECAUSE THAT WAS A STRONGHOLD IN MY LIFE. BUT, THIS APPLY TO SO MANY THINGS.

 IVE ABUSED MY FAIR SHARE OF RICE CRISPY TREATS TOO LET ME TELL YOU!! ( i am working on that) ; )



I WISH IT HAD NOT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO BE OBEDIENT, BUT, IT DID. I WAS WATCHING JOYCE MEYER ONE MORNING OVER COFFEE. SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SIN. SHE SAID IT'S BETTER TO CUT YOUR HANDS OFF AND NO LONGER HAVE HANDS IF THEY CONTINUE TO SIN AGAINST YOU.  THAT CAME FROM.. MARK 9:43   if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.

THAT STUCK WITH ME, MY HANDS CONTINUED TO POUR DRINK AFTER DRINK AFTER GOD MADE IT CLEAR TO ME IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON . I USED ALCOHOL TO COVER UP FEELINGS AND ANXIETIES I DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH. SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY I HAD ENOUGH AND KNEW I HAD TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY DAUGHTERS. I GUESS THE OLD SAYING YOU HAVE TO BE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED HAPPENED. BECAUSE TRUST ME.. I WAS SICK AND TIRED!

 I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE MY GIRLS COMING UP TO ME THIRSTY AFTER 20 MINUTES OF JUMPING THEIR LITTLE HEARTS OUT ON OUR TRAMPOLINE AND HAVE TO TELL THEM THIS IS "MOMMY'S DRINK" . EVERY TIME I FOUND MYSELF IN THAT POSITION I COULD HEARD GOD TELLING ME YOUR 'DONT TELL DAUGHTERS RIGHT FROM WRONG, JUST LIVE IT". GOD WANTED ME TO WALK OUT THE LIFE I WANTED FOR MY DAUGHTERS, NOT JUST TEACH THEM DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO.

HE WANTED ME TO STAND IN THE GAP, CUT OFF MY HANDS, CRY IT OUT, LOSE FRIENDS (IF I HAD TO),  LOSE CONTROL, DIG DEEP, PRESS IN, DO WHATEVER NEEDED TO BE DONE TO STOP THE FAMILY BONDAGE FROM PASSING ON TO MY 2 PRECIOUS GIRLS. LUCKILY THROUGH GOD'S AMAZING GRACE I AM COMING UP ON THREE YEARS THIS SEPTEMBER.

THE LAST 10 YEARS HAVE BEEN A BATTLE. A BATTLE I WOULDN'T TRADE FOR ANYTHING BECAUSE I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF AND GODS NEVER ENDING LOVE AND GRACE. I THINK ABOUT HOW AMAZING GOD IS, HOW BIG HE REALLY IS. HOW HE DOESN'T HAVE LOVE FOR ME, HE IS LOVE. I THINK I KNOW HIM. I THINK I KNOW HOW AMAZING MY GOD IS. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT!? I DON'T HAVE A CLUE AND NEITHER DO YOU. OUR PEA SIZE HUMAN MINDS CANT FATHOM GOD THE FATHER AND CHRIST THE SON FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE. THE DAY WE COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE FATHER AND THE SON WE ARE GOING TO FALL OUT IN AWE IM QUITE CERTAIN. WE WILL ONLY THEN UNDERSTAND THE MIGHTINESS OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR.

IVE SPENT HALF OF THE LAST 10 YEARS THINKING IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT ONE DAY WHEN JESUS HANDS ME MY GOLDEN CROWN AND I HEAR HIS PRECIOUS VOICE SAY TO ME "WELL DONE MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT". BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY I REALIZED THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD KEEP THAT CROWN, I'M NOT WORTHY. NO AMOUNT OF WORKS WILL MAKE ME WORTHY. I AM SAVED BY GRACE.

 I WORK NOW FOR THAT CROWN JUST SO I CAN HAVE SOMETHING TO THROW AT MY SAVIORS FEET ON THAT GLORIOUS DAY. 

REMEMBER WE WILL BLINK AND BE FACE TO FACE WITH JESUS CHRIST... WHAT WILL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOUR VAPOR, YOUR DASH, YOU SHORT BLINK OF AN EYE LIFE? DON'T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO FIGURE IT OUT MY FRIEND. IT JUST MAY BE TO LATE.

BE FAITHFUL, EVEN TO THE POINT OF DEATH, AND I WILL

GIVE YOU THE CROWN OF LIFE.

REVELATION 2:10

　

FATHER- WE COME TO YOU TODAY UNDERSTANDING THIS LIFE IS SHORT. HELP US TO KEEP OUR FOCUS ON YOU. DON'T ALLOW US TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS WORLD AND WHAT IT HAS TO OFFER US. YOUR WORD SAYS THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD WILL BE EATEN BY MOTHS. ALLOW US TO STORE UP OUR TREASURES IN HEAVEN WHERE FIRE CANT BURN THEM AND MOTH CANT DESTROY THEM. CREATE IN US LORD A HUMBLE HEART. OPEN OUR EYES IF ONLY FOR A SECOND, TO SEE WHAT YOU SEE. I PRAY LAZINESS DOESN'T INTERFERE WITH MY WALK. I PRAY FOR RENEWED SPIRITS, OPEN HEARTS AND REVELATION INTO YOUR WORD TODAY AND EVERYDAY.
AMEN. 　



AND IN TIME

TODAY MY DEAR FRIEND DEE CAME IN TO GET HER HAIR DONE, AND IN TWO WORDS CHANGED MY LIFE'S CURRENT PATH..... I HAVE BEEN IN A FUNK FOR AROUND 7  MONTHS. I HADN'T FELT LIKE GOD HAS BEEN 'USING' ME OR MY LIFE. JUST BEEN FEELING STAGNANT AND WORTHLESS TO A CALLING.  LIKE IVE BEEN WALKING THROUGH LIFE THE LAST FEW MONTHS WITH NO PURPOSE NO DIRECTION. ANY GOD LOVING, EVANGELISTIC, ADHD, CHRISTIAN WOMAN CAN TELL YOU IT IS JUST MISERABLE AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE AT A STAND STILL. YOU CONSTANTLY ASK YOURSELF...
'WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?"
"WHERE HAVE I MISSED THE PATH GOD?"
"WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WHEN TIME IS SO PRECIOUS IN THESE LAST DAYS?"
"WHEN. GOD. WHEN ???"
"WHEN. GOD. WHEN ???"
EVER SINCE MY LIFE CHANGED FOR GOD 10 YEARS AGO I HAVE FELT A CALLING TO WRITE AND SPEAK. I CANT TELL YOU WHY.. JUST A KNOWING IF YOU WILL. BUT DAYS TURNED INTO MONTHS AND MONTHS TO YEARS AND I FOUND MYSELF DISCOURAGED AND FRANKY SECOND GUESSING WHAT I BELIEVED MY CALLING WAS. I DECIDED THAT I WAS "JUST DREAMING" AND THAT I NEEDED TO BE OKAY WITH WHATEVER GOD CALLED ME TO DO. EVEN IF THAT MEANT CLEANING THE BATHROOMS AT CHURCH! I DECIDED I WOULD DO WHATEVER HE SAID WITH PASSION AND CONVICTION.

 "I CAN CLEAN BATHROOMS WITH PASSION IF YOU WANT ME TO FATHER!!" 

THEN DEE CAME IN AND SAID GOD MENTIONED ME TO HER THAT VERY MORNING IN HER QUIET TIME, HE ONLY SPOKE 2 PROMISING WORDS.... AUTHOR/SPEAKER. 

HAVE MY EARS JUST DECEIVED ME?? IT SHOCKED ME,  I HAD GIVEN UP ON THAT. WITHIN A MATTER OF SECONDS MY EYES WHERE FULL OF TEARS, HE HASN'T GIVEN UP ON ME! JUST WHEN I GAVE UP ON THAT SILLY DREAM.

GOD CONTINUES TO AMAZE WITH HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS! YESTERDAY I WAS DOWN AND OUT AND TODAY I AM WRITING!! WOW. NEVER GIVE UP OR LOSE FAITH WHEN GOD'S TIMING ISN'T IN YOUR TIMELINE.

YOU KNOW, IN YOUR CHRISTAN WALK YOU HAVE UPS AND DOWNS, GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS.. YOU HAVE DAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WORLD AND FEELING THE PRESENCE OF GOD, HEARING HIS VOICE, SINGING HIS PRAISES AND HELPING EVERYTHING THAT HAS PULSE IN A 1OO MILE RADIUS. AND NOT JUST HELPING THEM BUT DOING IT WITH AN OVERFLOWING CHEERFUL HEART!! AND THEN THERE ARE DAYS WHEN WE FEEL ALONE AND EMPTY, DOWN AND OUT AND DONT FEEL LIKE TALKING AT ALL, MUCH LESS WHISTLING DIXIE!! BUT THATS OKAY..

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.. AND ITS OK.. WE ARE HUMAN. IF WE DIDN'T HAVE THE VALLEY EXPERIENCES WE WOULDN'T APPRECIATE THE MOUNTAIN TOP HIGHS!!

 IVE LEARNED GOD USES US IN SEASONS TO HELP AND AID OTHERS AND THEN HE NEEDS TIME TO WORK ON US. TO DEAL WITH US ON OUR OWN ISSUES, OUR FLESH. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP WHEN YOU FEEL LOW, GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.. THE BIBLE SAYS IN  HEBREW 13:5 THAT GOD WILL NEVER FORSAKE US OR LEAVE US. IT DID SAY NEVER. JUST MAKING SURE YOU GOT THAT! NEVER! THANK YOU FATHER!! YOU WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE ME. 

 MAYBE GOD DOESN'T WORK WITH EVERYONE LIKE THIS, BUT, IVE ALWAYS BEEN A VERY EXTREME, BLACK OR WHITE, LOUD MOUTH, BULL IN A CHINA CLOSET, OUTSPOKEN, STUBBORN KINDA GAL.. GOD HAS HAD TO BASICALLY DISCONNECT ME FROM THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR MONTHS TO GET SOMETHING ACROSS TO ME. MY PRAYER IS TO  CONTINUE TO GROW AND MATURE AND GET TO A PLACE WHERE GOD SAYS IT ONCE (EVEN AT A LOW VOICE) AND I HOP TOO.   BUT OUR CHRISTIAN WALK IS A WALK, NOT A RUN. WE GROW AND LEARN AND CHANGE DAILY.

 JUST LIKE WHEN YOU PLANT A SEED.. YOU DON'T WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY AND SEE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, YOU WATER IT, FEED IT AND IN TIME.. IT GROWS. YOU'LL START TO SEE A BLOOM AND THEN AWHILE AFTER THAT, IT WILL APPEAR.. THE FLOWER. WHEN GOD FIRST FILLS US WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT WE AREN'T CHANGED IMMEDIATELY. IT TAKES TIME AND EFFORT, WORK ON OUR PART. DONT GET TOO RUSHED, SLOW DOWN AND ENJOY YOUR EVERYDAY WALK WITH GOD. DRINK IT UP AND REST IN HIM.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

HEBREWS 11:1


FATHER I JUST COME TO YOU WITH A FULL HEART TODAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORD, THANK YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. THANK YOU THAT I CAN ALWAYS TRUST WHAT YOU SAY. FORGIVE ME WHEN I LOSE FAITH BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DO THINGS IN THE TIME FRAME I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD. I JUST PRAY TODAY FOR COURAGE TO SPEAK WITH CONVICTION WHEN ITS TIME TO. ALSO FATHER FOR THE HUMILITY TO KEEP MY LIPS SEALED WHEN ITS NOT MY BATTLE TO FIGHT. I AM ASKING YOU FOR A GODLY BALANCE IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE FATHER, PRUNE ME AND SIFT ME, DON'T LEAVE ME AS I AM. ALLOW ME LORD TO BE A SHINING STAR FOR YOU IN THIS EVER DARKENING WORLD.
　AMEN.